The Role of Family in the Wedding

The role of family members during weddings can be confusing to all involved. Those with small families may wish to highlight each member in a very special way. Those with large families may struggle with who to include and how to include them. The family members themselves might worry about what is expected of them as well.

The Bridal Party

 It is traditional for siblings to stand with the bride and groom during the ceremony. This can be troublesome when there are multiple siblings from which to choose. Many brides and grooms opt to ask their siblings to serve as bridesmaids and groomsmen. They then opt to ask a close friend to stand as maid of honor and best man. Other brides may choose to divide the Maid of Honor responsibilities among their siblings so that no one is left out. Another option for including families in the ceremony is to ask a beloved family member to serve as a family representative. This person may share a story, a religious passage or a poem during the wedding. If a unity candle is being used, the representatives from each side may also be responsible for lighting the taper candles that will then be used by the bride and groom during the ceremony. 

A common concern with family members is when to arrive at the ceremony. If a family member is not part of the wedding, they can arrive with the rest of the guests. Some family members may wish to arrive early so that they can meet with the bride or groom privately to give them some advice or tokens of affection. Most brides and grooms will welcome this with open arms. Family members who are taking part in the ceremony should arrive with the rest of the bridal party. These details should be planned well in advance and finalized during the rehearsal. As with everything, the key is communication. It is the responsibility of the bride and grooms to let their families know what is expected of them. 

The Reception 

Reception seating can also present a struggle with family members. Traditional seating places the bride and groom either with the wedding party or at a table with both sets of parents. In either case, immediate family should be seated as closely as possible to the bride and groom. They should also be served first when meals are presented and should have first dibs on the dancing with the bride. If alcohol is to be served at the reception, members of the bridal party should take care to drink moderately. The maid of honor and bridesmaids are still tasked with aiding the bride throughout the night. This might mean helping the bride navigate the restroom in her wedding dress, letting her know when her makeup needs to be touched up, or simply being a voice of friendship and encouragement.

After the Party 

The bridal party and other family members should inquire about clean up before the wedding day. Many brides hire staff to take care of cleaning the reception hall and taking down decorations. However, there may be some items that need to be transported. This is a task that no bride or groom wants to face on their wedding night. Rented items, like large pillars, archways and table linens, may need to be  stored and returned to their rightful homes. The gift table will likely be covered with presents from well-wishers. These gifts may need to be transported as well. These tasks should be divided before the wedding day so that family members know who is responsible. This is especially important if there is an open bar.