Friday, May 3, 2013

Rehearsing the Wedding Toast the best way to overcome your fear



Once you've written out your speech, you need to practice delivering it. It may seem tedious to do so, but you're going to need to practice giving your speech several times, particularly if you intend to have it memorized, which you should unless you've been asked at the last minute. When rehearsing your speech, you want to pay attention to your timing, modulating your voice, your body language and your confidence. (Know your Audience: What you can and can’t say)  Before writing your speech, you should have asked the bridal party for what length of speech they're looking for. 

If you're the only one speaking, your speech might need to be fairly long. If there are several other speakers, you may only be up there for a few minutes. If you are confident in your speaking abilities, you might aim for a seven to 10 minute speech, but otherwise, three to five minutes is fairly common for a toast. Confer with the bride and groom beforehand to get their ideas on the subject, but if they're at a loss, go with what you're comfortable with. A few minutes might not seem very long when you're speaking, but when you're nervous, you speak more quickly. Each page of your speech will probably take you around a minute to deliver, so use that as an estimate when crafting your speech.

To get a feel for the time frame, get a stopwatch or check a clock when you begin. Once you've finished your speech, deliver it a second time. See if you're within the same time frame. You should practice out loud on your own a few more times as the date nears just to refresh your mind and make sure that you're within your range. Once you've memorized your speech, gather a small audience like a friend or a relative. When you're speaking to another person, you'll likely see your time drop. This is also an excellent time to solicit feedback about things like gestures or pacing. Also, work on modulating your voice so that you're not too loud or too quiet, and use your friend as a literal sounding board. 

When delivering your speech, you should appear relaxed but confident. This is easier said than done when you're nervous, but you need to remind yourself that your friend chose you because they believe in you. Use that thought to bolster your confidence any time you feel it slipping. As you practice, pay attention to your gestures and eye contact. You should establish contact with everyone in the audience, but that doesn't mean that you should stare at each person one by one. Look in the general direction of an area, speak to that group directly, and then adjust your focus to another area. Don't forget to also speak directly to the bride and groom. 

When giving a speech, it's common to get fixated on one point, but your audience will feel more connected if you give them each a bit of your attention. Watch your gestures when you're speaking. Don't fidget with your clothing, keep your hands out of your pockets, and don't stand there stiff-armed. Most communication is nonverbal, and you want the guests to focus on what you're saying, not what your hands are doing. Instead, use your hands to emphasize your points. Look for places where it would be natural to draw attention to something, and think of an appropriate demonstration. Work this into your speech as you practice. 

Keep all of your gestures above your hips as anything you gesture below them will likely get lost. Go to the venue beforehand so that you can get an idea of where you will be speaking. Look at how large the area is, and see if movement is possible. If you're going to be standing in one place, you may want to make your speech a bit more animated, and you might need to turn to address everyone. If you're in a more open area, practice moving around during your speech. If possible, go to the venue without the bridal party, and practice your speech in the location you will be delivering it. 

Try to imagine it with people gathered so that you don't overestimate your space, and know where the bride and groom will be sitting so that you can direct a lot of your focus to that area. If you do move, try and step out at an angle so that you can continue facing your audience. You don't want to turn away from them when you're speaking. By the time the wedding rolls around, you should have practiced your speech so much that you're nearly sick of it. Keep that in mind when you're delivering it because it means you know it inside and out. Don't be afraid about forgetting a word or having to do a bit of ad-lib. No one else in the party knows your speech but you, and if you don't draw attention to it, they won't even be aware you've slipped up.
Giving a speech might make you wish the toast happened beforehand, but your speech will be so finely delivered that the guests will be reluctant to raise their glasses.

No comments:

Post a Comment